this morning me and a teacher were discussing the tragedy of her high school years. she said that there were eight deaths and seven of them were suicides. almost all of those who had commited suicide had hung themselves. in order for them to have an open casket funeral, they had to wear turtlenecks, regardles of the weather. that creates an awkward emotion. you know why the turtleneck is there, and you know whats underneath it. it almost makes it even more painful than seeing the flesh beneath it. why hide the obvious, when its, well, obvious. its something i'll never know.

i have been super stressed out lately, and i really need to find some release. the pessimism is supremely taking over, and i hate it with a passion. ( ironic) I just kinda want to chill out about everything, and just lazily fail all my classes and have a future of flipping burgers at the burger king down the street. it takes a lot of work to live a life worth living, and it takes a whole lot of walking.

i cant help but to think how important this time is to my life. im just trying to soak it all in, and get everything i can before its all gone. but its really hard to see whats on the side of a road you're going ninety on, really really hard.